here goes.

"life cannot be understood flat on a page. it has to be lived; a person has to get out of his head, has to fall in love, has to jump off bridges into rivers, has to stand in an empty desert and whisper sonnets under his breath."

i think there's something in the air in the pacific northwest.
if not, then why is it that everything i see and experience reminds me so intensely of a donald miller book?
even the way i interact with God here feels so very blue like jazz.
i can't decide if that's okay or not...
perhaps i should have my own life to live?
to quote a very good movie that i maybe know a little too well...
"so much of what i see reminds me of something i read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"

all i know is that i am so at home here.
i try to explain to people back home that seattle and i have the same personality, but it always seems to come out wrong. nevertheless. i love it here, and big things are happening.

i have never been a particularly adventurous person. to amend that statement... i fake it a lot. i'll do crazy things like go to thailand at age 15 and hope that i'm mature enough to handle it, but never with the kind of reckless abandon that i feel is necessary for having adventures.

what is miraculous is that God is changing that within me.

i noticed maybe a year ago, and i didn't know what to do with it... this intense desire to hurtle headlong out of my comfort zone and start really engaging what it means to be covered in the dust of my rabbi. i'm getting there, slowly but surely... thousands of little things that push me out of what i know and into the beauty of living, and living passionately. they sort of culminated in my trip to uganda in august, because talk about an adventure...! but somehow, being here, i feel as though i'm in for an even bigger one.

and i don't know why i'm here.

there's the truth.
six months ago i would have laughed at you if you'd said to me, "hannah, in six months' time you'll be on your way earning a four-year degree at seattle pacific university."
it's not exactly what i wanted.
it's so tame.

but it is so exquisitely where God has placed me.

and in that knowledge, i am very blessed. so, in the words of donald miller;

"we each get one story, you and i, and one only. God has established the elements, the setting, the climax and the resolution. it would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?"